77 | Demistifying Coffee Chats
===

​

Friends. Welcome back to the crush, your goals with Christy podcast. The business podcast where you'll find clarity over confusion, community, over competition, and the confidence to crush your goals. I'm your host, Christy Johnson. Wedding photographer, community builder and business strategist. Dedicated to helping you build a life and business that you love. Step-by-step. And without the overwhelm today, we're going to talk about doing coffee chats with business owners. This is a question that I got, uh, when I sent out a poll to my audience, my email list, I asked them, what are some of the things that you want to know about business? 

And someone said, they want to know if it's appropriate to ask other businesses, business owners out for coffee. To learn from them. And what are some of the ways that they can do that or, and how to do it without stepping on people's toes. So this is actually kind of a controversial subject in the business world. 

Because, you know, a lot of people say that you absolutely should not. Uh, do coffee chats because they should be paying you for your time and your service. And I think that's true in some degree, but I also think that there is nothing wrong with asking a business owner for coffee and learning from them. And. 

I think that if a business owner says no to you, that is fine. It is not a, uh, it is not anything against you. It could just be like their personal preference of. I don't have time to do coffee chats and that's totally fine, but some people may be interested in, uh, in doing coffee chats and connecting with other people. 

And I think that neither one is either better or worse than the other. It all just kind of depends on where the business owner is. In their life, their business and what they want to do, what their priorities are for that season. There's not really a right or wrong answer. So if you are the person that is coming to someone for advice and wanting to do a coffee chat, how do you go about doing that? 

I'm going to hopefully give you a few tips. I've done them in the past. Honestly, the way I grew my business and learned most, everything that I know started with doing coffee chats with other business owners. It first started with attending, uh, meetings. With, with creative entrepreneurs. But how did I find out about those meetings through people being willing to share with me and, and meet up with me? I love personally, I love meeting up with business owners in my local community. I'm a rising tide society leader for my local chapter here. And that is one of the things that I love to do. 

I really do love connecting with other business owners. So I'm always happy to meet people for coffee. 

Um, I do think there is a balance. Between respecting someone's time wanting to learn from them. And just trying to get free advice from them. And I think it's pretty easy to tell at least. For the business owner. When there, you know, time has been, uh, disrespected or when that line has been crossed. So I would encourage you if you're the person seeking out someone. 

To meet for coffee that, that you don't constantly ask them for every single thing, respect their time. If it's something that you can look up on Google do that. If you know another business owner that you can ask, do that, or if you can post it in a Facebook group, do that. But if there are some things where you're like, you know what, I really, really wish I could meet someone for coffee and talk this through. 

Then that's totally fine. I tell people all the time, my door's always open. You can message me anytime. I may not respond always because sometimes I'm more busy than other times. It just kind of depends on the season, but I love that. So, how do you find people to ask for coffee? What should you say to them? 

And let's talk about community over competition as well. So first let's talk about how to find people. When I first started, I would just message people that I followed on Instagram. Or at the time I was using flicker a lot. I don't know if anyone remembers flicker, but. But I was supposed to my photos on there and I would message people and say, Hey, would you mind I'm a new photographer? Would you mind sharing like what lens you're using? And some people didn't answer and that's fine. I just had to move on. And eventually, like I found people who. 

I did answer and who were willing to answer. So it really just kind of depends. Uh, on the person. So try it out, you know, um, I wouldn't get upset. If they don't answer, that's a big thing is people. Sometimes we'll get frustrated when they don't answer. But like I said, it really has nothing to do with you. 

It has more to do with the amount. Um, Of time and energy that the business owner or the one that you're seeking out information from has to devote to things like this. So you can start with wherever you're sharing your foot, your, your work. Um, is it Instagram? Is it social media? You can message them, ask them a question. 

You can also look for local groups, Facebook groups, or using, um, meetup sites to find local groups of business owners connecting. Um, there are several groups of business owners who connect in, um, in my community. You can join networking groups. A lot of networking groups will encourage you to meet one-on-one with people to get to know them. And that's a place where you can, um, you know, seek advice and I would just encourage you to not be. I know I said it already, but don't be offended if they're not. 

Open to sharing because it's just their personal preference and that's okay. Um, so you can find them online. You can find them on local groups. You can find them at in-person networking groups. You can ask your friends. Or your colleagues that, you know, and say, Hey, who are some people that you follow that you love following? Um, are, are, is there anyone that you'd know that would be willing to do a coffee chat? 

Uh, you can do a search. Um, for people who are offering mentorship, maybe it'd be, it's something that you want to pay for. That would be great. I really don't think it's. It's inappropriate to ask, Hey, can we have her go out for coffee? The important thing is that you respect their time. 

You value their time. You listen to what they have to say. Your attentive. And that you don't take advantage of it by, uh, you know, asking them like over and over and over again, or expecting for them to give you free advice. Does that make sense? I hope that, that, I hope that that makes sense. Um, 

I would encourage you. If you are asking someone to coffee to cover their meal. Um, or their coffee. That's a nice gesture. Of course, you know, recognizing that they could be charging you for this meeting and they're not like that's a huge thing. So be grateful. Be grateful. I will say that I am a huge believer in community over competition. I love meeting with as many people as I can. 

And. The biggest lessons that I have learned have been from other people. And their generosity. And I truly believe that when one of us wins, we all win. And I'm a huge follower of Natalie Frank and the rising tide society and HoneyBook and all the things that they do to promote the creative economy. And I, I do believe in sharing. 

At the same time. I also believe in respecting people's boundaries. So I feel like I am. Repeating myself a lot at this point. But I just want to emphasize that. I don't think it's a bad thing to ask someone. So what do you say when you want to ask someone? To go for coffee. I think it's, it's simple as saying, Hey, I admire your work. I've been following you for a while. I saw that you're local, or we have this in common. I was wondering, would you be up for getting some coffee, um, and talking, I would love to connect with you and, and, and learn from you. You could even say, I understand that this may be something that you don't do. 

Um, and like no hard feelings at all, if you don't want to do it, I just wanted to take the time to ask because I respect your work and admire you. Something like that, you know, be, be humble. Um, I recognize that it's, it is a big ask to get them to essentially give you free information. Uh, for something that they could be charging you for, um, being humble and being open. 

To rejection if they say no, I'm sorry. Move on. Um, don't uh, have your feelings hurt by that? You know what I'm saying? So. I really want to demystify coffee chats. I don't think it's, it's a bad thing. And I want to put the power back in your hands to, to reach out to people and to ask them and just following some of these tips of. 

Expanding your circle. Of reaching out to multiple people, not in a way too. Uh, take, but to learn, I think there's a different attitude. A humble approach. Um, Of of, of curiosity. And admiration as opposed to, uh, expectation, expecting them to give you and, and, and taking from them. And. And being offended if it doesn't work out or if they say no, I really think that your attitude has a lot to do with it. So ask multiple people, reach out to multiple people, be kind and courteous, compassionate. 

And. And don't be afraid of that rejection because you know, someone may say no and maybe 10 people will say no, but maybe someone will say yes and you never know where that relationship will lead. I think that that relationship can lead to one. Uh, to can lead to another one and then something that they tell you can lead to something else, and that can lead to something else. So it's a great tool for learning when you're first starting out your. 

You're a sponge soaking up all of the knowledge from people and it can help you to learn from other people. I would also encourage you to not take everything that everyone says as like a hundred percent gospel truth, because recognize that there are multiple ways to do business a lot of ways to do business. And so just because it works for someone else. 

Doesn't mean that it's going to work for you, or it doesn't mean that you have to do it that way. That's why I think that just being a sponge and soaking it up is a great, a great thing. And then, you know, at some point investing in a mentor and actually spending the money for someone services. Can be really, really helpful. 

So maybe you have coffee with multiple people and there's someone that stands out to you and you think, wow, I really want to work with this person. Then hiring them would be amazing. It would be a great way to give back to them after what they've given to you. So, um, I would just encourage you to keep trying don't give up. Like I said, if some people say no, there, there will be someone who says, yes, 

And it just takes the time to find those people that resonate with you. I remember when I moved to California after living in the same place for my entire life. I felt like starting friendships was really difficult because I was starting from square wine from like zero. And I didn't know if I would click with people. So I, I met a lot of people. 

And not everyone turned into a friend, you know, you have a coffee date with someone and you don't click or you, it doesn't lead to another, um, another time of hanging out and that's okay. Kind of think of it as that as, as finding the people that you connect with, that you. Resonate with that are like-minded or that you want to learn from, because it will take some time. I know that can be discouraging at first when you're, uh, not find what you want, but it does take time. And I do think that you will be rewarded with where the really good relationships. 

I hope this was helpful to the person that, that asked the question. I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed it. Uh, if anyone else has any questions, I would love to hear from you. You can always email me at Christy at Christy Johnson, creative.com. I would also love to work with you. You can head over to my services page at Christy Johnson, creative.com/services to hear and see how you can work with me. I do. 

Uh, free discovery calls with people. I love hearing from you and seeing how I can help you in your business and cheering you on. 

All right. My friends. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you on the next episode.